They advise us to Google ourselves every now and then, to find out who we are what people might be saying or assuming about us.
So sometimes I do.
(I generally assume myself to be a bit of a "little red hen." Here is the copy we have in our house, illustrated by Paul Galdone, that I read to my kids every now and then.)
I Googled Myself
I am not dead.
I am not an opera singer.
I am not on Twitter or Linkedin.
I am not a chef or a life coach.
I do not lead origami workshops (except origami of the brain).
I did not make a Halloween video.
Or any other kind of video on the Internet.
I don’t live or work in a nursing home.
I am not a runner, or a roadrunner.
I have not been arrested.
I do write book reviews but not of children’s books.
I can knit, but I am not Armenian.
I am not a nun.
I do have a good nun name.
I am not a dead nun.
I don’t have a nice-paying job with benefits at a big corporation.
That is not my middle initial.
I do not live in the UK.
I do not live in New Mexico.
I do not live in Texas.
I do not live in Ohio, but my cousin’s wife does.
I am not on MySpace.
I am not a dead politician.
I have judged poetry contests but not that one.
I am not dead.
I am not married to Arthur.
I am not an organist.
I am not one of the hot people in Normal, IL, as far as I know.
I did not click that.
I was an actress but do not have a “filmography.”
I am not dead, I am not dead.
I am not dead.
Wonderful!!!! This whole business of self-googling is quite bizarre, but I do it too.
ReplyDeleteGoogling is fun.
ReplyDeleteThis is a fun read. And you do get tweeted but as aka @escapeintolife poetry editor.
ReplyDeleteYes, thanks for tweeting, Maureen!
ReplyDeleteAll these other possible selves....how bizarre and wonderful. Loved this.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Hannah. It's pretty amazing, who's out there...!
ReplyDeleteWonderful! Your name has so many lives...
ReplyDeleteI am one among many, and we are linked. And I say that about people who don't have my name, too, Donna!
ReplyDelete:-) Wonderful.
ReplyDeleteLoved that, and so glad you are not dead.
ReplyDeleteMe, too!
ReplyDeleteOut of sheer curiosity, what did the link you didn't click lead to, in theory?
ReplyDeleteThe hot people in Normal, IL.
ReplyDelete(I generally don't click that kind of link.)
ReplyDeleteWhat fun. It's been way too long since I self-googled on a sultry Saturday night.
ReplyDeleteWith my recent attempts to try and understand quantum reality (okay, not very well), I would say that you are probably all those people.
ReplyDeleteBut I do love the list/poem.
Do it chilled wine or hard lemonade at hand...Collagemama!
ReplyDeleteSeana, so in quantum reality I might have even more lives than a cat?
Well, you would, except that the cat would still have nine times more than you would. Although nine times infinite is a very difficult number...
ReplyDeleteFortunately, I am math-challenged, so my brain is just saying, "La la la la la."
ReplyDeleteNever mind. Apparently another version of you is teaching math to seventh graders in Cobb County, Georgia. She even has a blog! I have to say, though, that hers isn't anywhere as good as yours, and frankly, has some pretty harsh words (all caps!) for those students who don't clean out their lockers!
ReplyDeleteOh, my, the next time I Google myself, I will look for her. New list, new list!
ReplyDeleteI am also not a scholar athlete.
ReplyDeleteThere seem to be six of me, but the hummus and olives called me away from snooping my other selves.
ReplyDeleteUnlike Phil Campbell, I don't have my own town.
But if you did, we would want to go there! Road trip!
ReplyDeleteI love 'I am not,' as art and self-definition.
ReplyDeleteOne of my daughter's best friends crafted a graphic of her identity by creating a mandala composed of the names of all of her friends, family members, teachers, pets and significant figures - whose encounters with her she felt shaped who she is becoming.
Beyond the fun of your "I am not(s). . . " as an occasional self-Googler (checking to make sure I'm quoted correctly), I'm tickled by my own findings that "I am not . . ." - an American Indian activist, an Australian GP, a chemical architect, a lawyer, a master American painter (I wish), or a member of the Shanghai Chamber of Commerce. I also wasn't at the White House dinner in January.
Ah, the selves . . . that we aren't.
Bob
Oh, I thought that WAS you, Bob!
ReplyDeleteIn quantum reality you might have more lives than Schrodinger's cat...
ReplyDeleteThis is fun; I might steal the idea, I love what you've done with it. Not so many people have my name though, really, which is odd because it's not a weird one or anything.
Even better that you're not a dead nun...
Oh, yes, Lucy, try this yourself. I think lots of writers 1) Google themselves and 2) work that into some list or creative piece!
ReplyDeleteI am not the local TV station's meteorologist, nor the male professor who wears skirts, nor the other blogger who bears the same name. Not related to Chris O'Donnell either, although he shows up a LOT when I do a self-search.
ReplyDeleteShannon, you have a very interesting not life in addition to your very interesting actual life!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful way to tell us what you're NOT, Kathleen. What you ARE is talented!
ReplyDeleteI'm honored that you think so, Catalyst!
ReplyDelete