Today I have a funeral to attend, library books to renew, and a bank deposit to make--enough to pay the next bill, thanks to my odd little freelance life. Some mornings, some nights, I lie abed in worry, but last night, instead, I did my A.M. Yoga with Rodney Yee, and this seems a good solution. There is never a good time to do A.M. Yoga in the morning now, so why not do it at night? (P.M. Yoga, the other obvious choice, is too much for me.)
This is a roundabout way (my usual way) of getting to the subject of yesterday's second-Sunday-of-Advent reflection, "Fear Not," by Bob Ryder, the husband half of our doubled pastor. I did find it comforting and sustaining, and it was fun to remember that I have a poem called "Fear Not" based on the renovation of beautiful Uptown Normal, when a big crane sat there for months. Now, where there was once a hole in the street, there is a lovely award-winning traffic circle of green space.
Driving my daughter to school in my pajamas, I got to listen to some more of her music, this time "Breakable" by Ingrid Michaelson, on the album Girls and Boys, about our fragility. Lyrics here. Albums here. News/new one, Ghost, here. "Ghost" lyrics here. (By chance, I just sent off a chapbook review of Ghost, by Gaylord Brewer, to Prick of the Spindle. I do so love it when things coincide.) No matter how dark her lyrics, her "voice like an angel" encourages me to fear not.
Fear not is right, Kathleen. It's amazing how immobilizing fear/anxiety is....
ReplyDeleteThanks, Hannah. Yes, the "fight or flight" aspect of fear came up in the reflection yesterday, causing me also to ponder the paralysis aspect of it. And to ponder my own fearlessness and risk-taking ability in so many things...according to other people, who can hardly believe the way I can put myself out there in poetry or onstage. That was good to remember.
ReplyDeleteI've been afraid a lot in my life. I guess I have to accept it.
ReplyDeleteEmily, I think a lot of fear is quite natural, and accepting what IS always seems healthy to me. I think this reflection is, ultimately, about accepting that scary stuff is out there...and accepting that in a way that helps one "fear not." Sort of a paradox.
ReplyDeleteBecause it's the kind of coincidence you like, Kathleen, I'll just mention another blog I've recently started to read by a local guy here. He was meditating on the same theme here, and in a follow up piece here.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Seana!!
ReplyDeleteand this from the link you shared:
ReplyDelete"But I do sense that whatever inspired Beethoven to continue composing when he became deaf, whatever inspired people to assist escaped slaves through the underground railroad, whatever inspired Jesus to eat with outcasts and pariahs, whatever inspires you to be generous with school children and advocates for people vulnerable to abuse by payday lenders, that sacred mystery is with me"
muchly needed.
I'm sure Bob will be glad to hear it, Sherry.
ReplyDelete