Irresistible Grace

OK, here is the insight I promised at the end of Répondez s’il vous plaît. In a comment, I warned Seana that it might have something to do with Calvinism (or reformed Calvinism, or Calvinism as it is commonly...um, misunderstood, according to Marilynne Robinson, but that's another story), and it might. Or it might not.

But even Wikipedia understands that Calvinism understood as a response to the 5 points of Arminian Remonstrance has little to do with Jean Couvin (aka John Calvin), as "Calvin died in 1564 and Jacob Arminias was born in 1560." (Still with me, Seana? Anyone?)

Anyhoo, I was realizing on Cranky Doodle Day that not only must I live peacefully and patiently without hope of reward, which I mainly do because there so seldom is one, and, of course, for philosophical and spiritual reasons and because I am nonlinear, but also I must live patiently and non-crankily without hope of response.

Likewise. Because there so seldom is one.

Even though not responding seems sort of ungenerous and unpolite, people have their own reasons for doing that, which have nothing to do with me. I have to just get on with it. I can be momentarily annoyed, and forgive myself for that, and then be as responsive and as patient and polite as I, personally, can possibly be, because that is who I am and who I want to be. If I behave badly in response to...the lack of response

Ack! My head exploded.

But, to speak Calvinistically, I have to work to be who I am and I have to choose to be, um, chosen for grace, even if I am not, and even if I am. Head is trembling...*

I have to try to do the gracious thing even if people are ungracious toward me.

Because...? I am hard-wired that way? I was raised that way? I am predestined in some way?  Grace is irresistible?

Ack! It comes down to Nike. Just do it. Anyway.

*Origami brain syndrome.

Thanks for the hybrid flowers, Lorel.

Amazing Grace

Remember how I was sort of blue on (Blue) Monday because of the recent departure of visiting family wamily? Well, family wamily will be passing through again on a college visit this Friday!

Here is the new poetry feature just up at Escape Into Life: Christina Lovin. With the amazing performance art photographs of Paula Herrera Nobile.

The one above is called Last Days of My Sofa.

For more poetic amazement, check out the poem up now at Linebreak, "Metaphysical," by Michael McManus. You can read it and/or hear it read.

And in the "Would you wear this?" department, check out the headdress in my niece's blog, Bowl of Bees!

Poem-a-day prompt for April 4: an unexpected blizzard! It could happen. And did, in my childhood. But you can make it a Dairy Queen Blizzard if you want. Or a blizzard of blossoms.

Répondez s’il vous plaît

Another great painting by Jonathan Koch, this one called Oysters and Lemons. I use it perhaps to illustrate the abundance in my life right (joy, spring bloom) and the tartness, as I was pondering something that tends to make me cranky.

Aha! That makes it a Cranky Doodle Day as well as a Fat Tuesday in the blog.

Why do I always feel a little guilty for leaving out Cranky Doodle Day? It's good not to be cranky, right? Um, remember Bright-Sided, by Barbara Ehrenreich? Yes! Because I just returned it to the library. Well, hey, sometimes crankiness and complaining is good because it 1) points out crap 2) can lead to change 3) is part of real life, not falsely optimistic oversimplified unreal life. OK, that got me in the mood to crank!

So, what was making me cranky was the lack of response in several areas of my life. I won't go into it too much, but some is in personal relationships, and I can handle that in 1) risky conversation and 2) poetry. In fact, while today's poem-a-day prompt is "a particular kind of tree," the title of the poem I got from that is actually "Répondez s’il vous plaît."

Aha! That makes it also a Random Coinciday in the blog.

Anyhoo,...hmm, by now I am perfectly cheerful and have lost all crankiness, but I'll still try to crank it up. Yes! One of my poetry workshop participants was lamenting the lack of response to some of her submissions, and I'm sure a number of you can identify with that. I got a response today to a submission. It was a rejection! But even that doesn't bother me.

What bothers me is when a person (or organization) only contacts me when they want something from me. And they want it right now.

But if I need something from him or her or them, there is often no response. Usually, I just need more info, some kind of clarification, etc. If it has to do with what the person wants right now, I might get a response, so that I will give the person what he/she wants right now. If it is information that is important to me but not deemed important or urgent by that person...I will probably not hear back at all.

Or there will be a long silence.

Sigh...

Was that cranky enough? This crankiness actually led to a deep and important insight that I will share with you at a later time. Perhaps on a Thor's Day!

Wild Violets

Lovely weekend: my dad turned 80, some family wamily arrived for that, and wild violets have bloomed in the lawn. Family wamily arriving means family wamily departing, too, by car (sister back to Ohio on Sunday) or train (son back to college this morning), so it's also a bit of a Blue Monday in the blog.

So, as this blog/book (by Kathryn Hall) advises, Plant Whatever Brings You Joy.

Wild violets is also the prompt for today for my poetry workshop, in the April poem-a-day adventure that is National Poetry Month. I've written mine! And yesterday's...yesterday.

Imaginary soundtrack:  "Yesterday" by The Beatles.

Big Poetry Giveaway 2012

Happy National Poetry Month! I'm participating, with a lot of other poet-bloggers, in the Big Poetry Giveaway organized by Kelli Russell Agodon. Each year she encourages poets to give away 2 books of poetry, and you can read her guidelines here and check out the books she is giving away here!

I am giving away an extra copy of Ballistics, by Billy Collins, and my new chapbook, Nocturnes, just out from Hyacinth Girl Press. If you want to win them, leave a comment on this blog and some safe version of your email address [spell out "dot" and "at" to avoid spam] and I will contact you in early May, and ask for your address if you are the name I pull out of the hat. Or little green basket.

If I have another duplicate of something by then--book or journal--I will throw that into the package, too!

I love to read: short stories, novels, poetry, essays, memoir & biography, nonfiction, especially science and history. A book I want to read that I haven't got from the library yet is All the Devils Are Here. Another book I hope to read this summer is The Art of Fielding. Baseball novel. Ish.

I love to read and write outside, at a picnic table in the back yard. But I can read and write anywhere and everywhere, if I bring a book, a notebook, and some pens or pencils.

I'll be drafting a poem a day in April, with a poetry workshop I teach and another group I know online. It's an intense thing to do, but I love doing it because I always end up with a bunch of stuff that gets revised into real poems! And sometimes a few "gift" poems, those that fall out whole by grace!

If you are writing a poem a day, too, have fun! If you want to participate in the giveaway by giving books away, click on Kelli's guidelines! If you want a chance to receive these books, leave a comment below with your email. If you just want to comment, that's fine, too! Always happy to hear from you.