Monday, September 22, 2014

Internet Quiz Death

If I die this year, my dears, a crazy Internet quiz prediction will have come true. Why did I even take that Facebook quiz? A friend took it, it looked like fun? "It's scientific," the quiz claimed. Oh, it will show me healthy foods & good lifestyle choices and maybe even offer me wine and dark chocolate*, I imagined. It will comfort me with a nice distant age of death, something like 94 or, goofily, 120, which a current anthropologist predicts, according to another link. I will die at a nice old age, I foolishly thought.

No, I will die at the age I am now, predicts the scientific Internet quiz. That's annoying and a bit disconcerting, like waking from a bad dream that lingers all day. Among the stock photos offered as answers to the sometimes hard to answer** questions, I wanted to pick the soup on the stove. It looked like a nice, hot vegetable soup. But maybe it had sausage in it. So I picked the sushi, having had some excellent spicy salmon sushi Saturday night at Anju Above, a Korean restaurant! Now I'm going to die.

To comfort myself, I'm posting morning glories, in honor of finding another on the fence this morning. Unlikely but beautiful morning glories in my friend Lorel's garden.

*Yes, it did. I said yes.

**Do I want mustard on my hot dog? NO, I don't even want the hot dog! "NO, I don't even want the hot dog!" was not an option. I am a lousy Internet test taker.

10 comments:

seana graham said...

Another reason for me not to be on Facebook.

All it's really telling you is to seize the day, so live it up!

And one of my capture words was a bold and clear "success", so that's got to be a good omen.

Kathleen said...

Thank goodness!

SarahJane said...

Those quizzes are completely stupid and bogus and you have nothing to fear and you are not John Steinbeck, and you should not live in Denmark, and you are not the kangaroo, or Blitzen, or a waffle with a puddle of blueberries on top, or most inclined to be addicted to heroin, or any or the superheroes, etc.

Kathleen said...

Sarah, now I might laugh myself to death like the guy in Mary Poppins. Tea parties on the ceiling!

Marcoantonio Arellano said...

darn, those tests told me i was not of the lineage that i thought i was even though i know i was born in Mexico and am part to half Aztec. i think it determined i was born in a different country with lighter complection and lighter hair. but on good thing was it guessed that i was to be taller than i am :-).

i think i've lost my identity :-p

Kathleen said...

Thanks, everybody, for good omens, comfort, and humor!

Collagemama said...

Just say no to BuzzFeed. I remember how upset I would get after hearing my fortune from a folded cootie-catcher...

Kim said...

I happen to know, from a facebook quiz, that I AM YODA, and I am here to tell you that there is no die, there is only doodoo in those quizzes.

jasmine jasmine said...

Like I know I will die of asphyxiation. :) But I dont know it from Facebook, I know it.

Cathy said...

Thank you for not being dead!

(Err, in spite of the fact that you're hanging out in a cemetery...)